Scars
by 7thstory
Summary: Everybody makes mistakes, but what will Genrou do when one he doesn't even remember comes back to haunt him? AU, Reincarnation. Yaoi: TasChi and HikouKouji. 8-19-04: Ch. 11 posted. Story complete!
1. Teaser

OK, I'm not that sure about this fic. I don't know how it'll turn out, but I'll be trying with all my might to make it have a realistic, happy ending. This is just a teaser for the actual fic, an important scene from a few years before the time that the bulk of the fic takes place. It's going to be a bit darker than _True Happiness. _Also, this chapter has people getting hurt in it, and people getting sick. It is not for the squeamish. You have been warned. Read this and tell me if you think I should continue.

Disclaimer: I've made a change. I'm only saying it once in this fic, so pay attention: I DON'T OWN FY!

Warning: I'm also only going to say this once. At some point, this story will have yaoi/shounen-ai content. Possibly also yuri. Haven't decided yet. If that bothers you, you're a closed-minded idiot and you aren't wanted here anyway. If you flame me about it, I'll laugh.

----_Scars_----

When you're on the streets, people don't want to know your story. To them, it doesn't matter whether you ran way from home, like me, or got kicked out, like my friend Kouji. His parents basically disowned him when they found out he was gay. But people don't care about that.

They don't care about you at all.

You have to care for yourself.

So that's what I'd been doing for five years. What I was doing_ that_ day. I was caring for myself the way I'd learned to, over the years. By relieving those more fortunate than me of bits of their fortunes. I saw myself as a bit of a Robin Hood, stealing from the rich and giving to the needy. The needy being me. 

__

That day was just like a billion others. Wake up hungry, walk around hungry for a while, maybe run into Kouji. Pick potential 'victims' out of the crowd. I wasn't having good luck that day; nobody seemed to be preoccupied enough. It was a warm day, and too many people were walking around without coats, carrying their wallets in their jeans. Impossible to get at. I couldn't even find anyone carrying a purse.

Then I saw him. Medium height, with light blue hair. The hair is what made me notice him in the first place. You don't see hair like that every day. I myself have bright orange hair. It's a bit of a hassle to have hair that stands out a mile when you're in my line of work, so I'd taken to wearing a hat when I was 'on duty'. 

Anyway, this blue-haired guy was walking along the street, obviously off in his own little world. To make it even better, he was wearing an _unzipped_ windbreaker with his wallet _in the pocket_. I almost laughed in disbelief. How much easier could it be?

I walked along behind the man, pretending to be interested in the displays in the windows of the stores we were passing. I even stopped once or twice at certain windows, always keeping a close eye on the guy's reflection. 

Once I'd determined that he was going to stay in that little world of his, I walked quietly up behind him and slid my hand into the pocket of his windbreaker. I had grabbed the wallet and slid my hand out when the guy came suddenly back to earth. "Hey!" he yelled.

In shock, I nearly dropped the wallet, but I had the presence of mind to keep a hold on it and to turn and run. 

At least, I tried to run. That guy had a hold on my arm, so it was a little hard. 

"This guy just took my wallet!" he was yelling, disbelief evident in his voice. People were already gathering, and I just wanted to get out of there. Someone would call the police soon. I wanted to drop his wallet, really I did, but my instincts were in full control at that moment, and they were telling me to keep the wallet. So that's what I did. 

You don't know how many times I've regretted that decision.

I struggled for all I was worth, trying to break the guy's grip. He was much stronger than I gave him credit for. I couldn't get him off, and everything in me was screaming for me to get away. Maybe that's why I went for my last resort.

I've regretted that, too.

My last resort is to pull out my knife. I hate hurting people, I hate it with everything in me, but a kid alone on the streets is as good as dead without a weapon to at least threaten people with. So I reached into my jacket and pulled out my knife, hoping that the sight of it would be enough to make him let go.

It wasn't. So, like the idiot I am, I swiped behind me with it. I didn't even turn to check and make sure he was out of the way. I just assumed that he'd see the blade coming at him and duck. I hoped he'd let me go.

But he didn't duck.

He was too busy trying to keep me from pulling free to see the knife. I sliced the air behind me without even looking, until, with a sickening feeling, I felt the catch as the metal connected. I felt it tear through whatever part of the guy behind me I'd hit, freeing itself with a jerk.

That scream was one of the worst sounds I've ever heard. I still hear it sometimes, in my nightmares. 

In utter horror and disbelief at what I'd done, I ran. I didn't know what else to do, and I couldn't just wait there like an idiot for the police to come.

When I was a few blocks away, I paused to look back. A crowd was already forming around the man, and through them I could just see a flash of blue hair over a pale face that was spattered with blood. His hands were both clasped over his left eye, and he was kneeling hunched over on the pavement, whimpering, blood running thickly through his fingers.

"Oh, gods," I muttered, feeling nauseous. I kept running, finally reaching an alley where I sometimes hung out with Kouji. I raised a hand to wipe sweat from my forehead and saw that I was still carrying the knife. The blood on the blade had already begun to dry...I threw it as far away from myself as I could and rushed to the Dumpster at the end of the alley. I emptied what felt like everything I'd eaten for weeks into it. 

As I was wiping my mouth on my sleeve, white and trembling, Kouji showed up.

"Hey, what's wrong? Man, ya look like shit!"

Shakily, I shook my head and tried to breathe.

What had I done?

-----------To be continued

Or not. You decide. Do you like it this far? Do you hate it, and think I must've gone insane to write something like this? Tell me, I want to know! Should I continue it or not?

I just started this fic because I don't think anything like this has been done before. One night I just suddenly thought, out of the blue, that I'd never seen a Tas/Chi fic where Tasuki gives Chichiri his scar. Because this _is_ going to be a Tas/Chi, as unbelievable as that sounds. Did you forget who you're dealing with?

I was trying to show that Tasuki (or Genrou, as it were) is completely disgusted with what he's done. He can't even believe that it happened. Poor guy. Please don't hate me for what I did to both of them, it'll be tough, but I'll do my very best to make it better if you want me to continue.

~Mikazuki


	2. Meeting Again

Sorry it took me a while to post!! I had this done two days ago, but then I went to my dad's and I didn't email it to myself...I'm such an idiot…please forgive me!

You all seem to have confidence that I can do this, or else you just want to laugh at my pathetic attempts to figure out how to write this. Anyway, for some reason you all think I should continue. So I will. 

In answer to your question sssSCHNARF, Kouji is gay since I started writing this fic. I know he isn't in the series, (but why does he have Tasuki bedsheets? 0_0) but I like the idea of him and Hikou as a couple, so I made him gay. Sorry if this bothers you.

Genrou has blocked out the memory of 'that day', because he couldn't believe he had hurt someone so badly, never mind forgive himself for it. (I know, that's just going to make it a hell of a lot worse when he remembers, since I'm going to wait until he's fallen for Houjun...I know, I'm awful.). Houjun didn't get a good look at the pickpocket who slashed his eye. So...they don't know who the other one is when they meet...

Also, the POV of this story will shift between Houjun, Genrou, Kouji and Hikou. Since it's more than 2 characters, this time I'm going to label the POV.

(Geez, am I the queen of long authoress' notes, or what? I'll try to shut up, I promise...)

------_Scars_------

__

-Kouji-

"Knock knock!

"Who's there?

"Why, it's Kouji, Genrou's best buddy, with great news fer Genrou!

"Why, come in, Kouji!

"Thank you!"

I pushed open the door to what my friend called an apartment. It was one room, not counting the bathroom, and there was only one tiny window set high into one of the walls. Genrou was extremely proud of it, since he paid for it himself. I have no idea how he did. He was also putting himself through college, one course at a time. He did it all while working every job he could. I'd swear he'd gone back to stealing if I didn't know that Genrou never lies. 

At least, not if he can help it.

"'Ey, Kouji." Genrou grinned at me, showing his unnaturally pointy canines. "What's this about 'great news'?"

"I've come ta get ya outta this hellhole." I returned his grin, which had disappeared at my statement.

"It ain't a hellhole, Kouji..."

"Aw, ya know it is." I put on a disinterested look. "But if yer not interested in movin' inta a place with real light in it sometimes..." I turned towards the door.

"'Ey, wait! I never said I didn' wanna leave!" 

I turned back. "I thought so," I said, smiling widely. "Ok, ya know how Hikou's movin' in with me?"

Genrou nodded. I'd told him a month or so ago that my boyfriend of about a year and a half was going to be moving into my apartment. Actually, one year, seven months, three weeks and two days...but who's counting?

"Well, his ol' roommate is lookin' fer someone else ta move inta th' apartment."

Genrou raised an eyebrow. "'S a nice place?"

"'Course it is!"

"Kouji...how'm I gonna pay fer it?"

"That's th' best part. This ol' roommate of Hikou's—name's Houjun, by th' way—his family must be some kinda rich, or somethin', cause Hikou says that he's only askin' about three-quarters a' what yer payin' fer this dump."

I sat back, satisfied, as Genrou's eyes bugged out.

"That...that ain't possible..." he looked truly shocked. "I don' believe it..."

"Believe it," I advised him, "An' get ready, 'cause I'm takin' ya ta meet Houjun in—" I consulted my watch—"Twen'y minutes."

"Kouji!" he yelled. "Couldn' ya have given me a little more warnin'?"

I laughed. "I like ta keep ya on yer toes, buddy."

Growling, he walked to his dresser and pulled out a fresh T-shirt. After yanking off his old one and tossing it into the heap of dirty laundry in the corner, he paused for a second and turned to me.

"Hey, what's Houjun like?"

"I dunno. I only saw th' guy once."

Again he paused, this time in shock, his shirt half over his head. "Ya set me up to be th' roommate of some guy ya never _met? _" He said in disbelief.

"Relax," I told him. "He's gotta be a good guy, he's Hikou's bes' friend."

He pulled the shirt down with a jerk. "Yeah, that makes me feel a whole lot better..."

"Hey!" I was offended. "Hikou's a good guy."

"Yeah," Genrou replied, "but if he's got bad enough taste ta date _you_, I shudder ta think what his best friend'll be like." He ducked quickly as I came after him.

"Aw, c'mon, ya set yerself up fer that one," He laughed.

"I guess so..." I admitted. "But never mind that now, we gotta go."

"I thought ya said we had twenty minutes!" 

"I lied." I laughed. "Actu'lly, we're meetin' 'em in that cafe that just opened, an' it'll take a few minutes ta get there..."

Genrou sighed and followed me out to my car.

__

--Hikou—

They were late. I expected them to be, but I made sure that Houjun and I got there on time on the off chance that Kouji actually remembered to tell Genrou that they were going somewhere in time. Houjun was sitting in the booth with me, waiting for them nervously.

"So, Hikou," he said suddenly. "What's Genrou like?"

"Umm...I don't know, exactly." I admitted. "I've never met him."

"_What? _" Houjun looked around and noticed that his cry had drawn stares. He lowered his voice a little. "You set me up to be the roommate of a guy you've never _met? _"

"It's all right." I tried to reassure him. "He's Kouji's friend. I'm sure he's nice."

"Nice!" Houjun exclaimed. "Didn't Kouji used to be a thief?"

"Well, yes," I allowed. "But he never hurt anyone, or anything." 

Houjun unconsciously lifted a hand to the bangs that covered his left eye. Or, rather, the scar where his left eye had been. He'd lost his eye when he was mugged four years ago. He looked slightly beyond nervous now.

"Genrou wasn't a thief, by any chance, was he?" I could barely hear him.

"Um..." I was reluctant to answer that.

"He _was?!_ Hikou, I can't do this. I can't share my apartment with...with..." Houjun looked terrified.

"Well, you don't have to let him room with you." I said reasonably. "But it's a little late to back out of the meeting now, since they're here."

Houjun's good eye widened. He looked around frantically. 

"Hey, Kouji!" I called. "Over here!"

I waved to him, smiling. He grinned back at me, gesturing to a young man with vibrant, flame-colored hair beside him. The young man also grinned. Damned if the boy didn't have _fangs._

Houjun's face had reassumed its terrified look.

I nudged him. "There's no reason to act as though you're about to be killed," I said in an undertone. "They're perfectly nice people, and even if they weren't, we're in a public place surrounded by law-abiding citizens who would leap to your aid if something horrible happened. You're safe."

Houjun nodded and tried to conceal his terror. The result was the most unconvincing smile I've ever seen. I sighed. Hopefully he'd loosen up when we got talking.

--_Houjun_—

How could I help but be nervous? It was perfectly natural. Anyone with a three-and-a-half inch scar as a souvenir of their last meeting with a street thief would be nervous the next time they met two of them, even if these thieves were on the straight and narrow. 

And how can you trust someone who's got _fangs?_

In spite of said teeth, though, I had to admit that Genrou was attractive. He was well-built, or at least I thought so, and he had truly striking hair. Not to mention those mischievous amber eyes...

I slapped myself mentally. He was an ex-thief, for crying out loud! Not to mention that he was a _he_. There's nothing wrong with being gay, some of my best friends are, but I just wasn't that way.

I didn't think...

I made myself put my eyes back into my head. Or, rather, eye. That thought brought me back to the earth with a rather unpleasant _thump._ I couldn't be attracted to a thief. The last time I'd met one...I tried not to shudder.

By this time, Kouji and Genrou had reached the table. Kouji greeted Hikou with a quick kiss and introductions were made all around. Genrou acknowledged Hikou and me with a nod and another flash of his overlarge canines. 

I hoped I didn't look as scared as I felt.

"So, yer Houjun?" I glanced up to see Genrou looking down at me.

"Yeah. You must be Genrou," I winced inwardly. Of course he was Genrou. We'd been introduced not two minutes ago. But seriously, what do you say to a question like that, particularly when you've just found out that the questioner has a voice to match his looks? That thought earned me another mental slap.

"Yup," Another grin. His teeth were starting to grow on me. '_Like a fungus,'_ I thought, smiling slightly.

"Nice t' meet ya." 

"Nice to meet you too," I said, taking the hand he'd held out with his statement.

And there the conversation stuck.

-_Genrou_-

Damn. Why hadn't Kouji warned me that this guy was cute? Maybe he didn't think so? I shrugged mentally. Still, he knows my standards, he could've warned me when I asked about Houjun.

Though, come to think of it, Houjun wasn't the type I normally found appealing. Light brown hair, mahogany eyes and pale skin weren't usually what I thought attractive. Still, I had to admit that I saw Houjun as very good looking.

He was looking at me like I was about to pull a knife on him, or something. I grinned as Kouji introduced me, hoping to relieve some of his nervousness. '_See, I'm friendly,_' I thought. But my smile seemed to make him even more anxious.

Damn, again. I'd forgotten the affect my teeth have on most people. 

Kouji was talking to Hikou, leaving me to talk to Houjun, who looked as though he'd rather be left alone. I tried to come up with something to say.

"So, yer Houjun?" '_Great, now he won't be scared, anyway. He'll just think I'm an idiot._'

"Yeah." He answered. "You must be Genrou."

Ok, maybe he won't think I'm so much of an idiot. 

"Yup. Nice t' meet ya." I grinned before I realized what I was doing, but it didn't matter. He didn't seem any more frightened. He even smiled back, though it was a very small smile. I stuck out my hand and he shook it with a "Nice to meet you, too."

There was an uncomfortable pause.

'_What the hell do I say to this guy? _' I wondered.

"Uh...so, Kouji says yer lookin' fer a roommate?" '_Another brilliant comment._'

He nodded, looking nervous again. Oh, shit. Had I already made such a bad impression on this guy that he didn't want to let me share his apartment?

"Um, yeah," he said. "I think Kouji and Hikou were going to take you to have a look at it after we have coffee."

I tilted my head to one side. "Ain'cha comin', too?"

"Oh, yeah. Of course, since it is my apartment and all..." His voice trailed off.

I had thought that the pause before was uncomfortable, but it was nothing to this one.

Houjun looked around, as though trying to find a topic of conversation in the air.

I shook my head slightly. I knew nothing about him. He, I assumed, knew nothing about me. How could we possibly find anything to start a conversation about?

'_That's stupid,_' I realized. '_How can I ever find out anything about him if I don't ask? _'

"So, uh, what're ya interested in?"

He recognized my feeble question as the sincere attempt at conversation that it was, and he smiled.

"Well, I've always had an interest in ancient cultures, especially China. Sometimes after I read about it, I can close my eyes and almost see some of the places I've read."

My eyes widened. We actually shared an interest? This was good...

"Really? I'm interested in China, too. Except, sometimes I get such a clear picture a' stuff in my head that I'd swear I'd seen it, an' then I'll read somethin' else and find out that it isn't th' way I thought...but I still got this picture in my head a' the way my brain thinks it _should _be."

He nodded. "I know what that's like. If I believed in past lives, I'd say that that was what caused all this. But I don't, so I'm not sure what to make of it." He sipped something from a cup in front of him, coffee or tea, I thought.

I watched him. There was something very familiar about him...he caused this odd tugging at the back of my brain. I couldn't for the life of me think what it was...

---------To be continued

This chapter just sort of got long on me, but I couldn't find a good place to break it off, so it ended up like this. This chapter probably isn't what you were expecting, after that teaser...I'd like to apologize to all of you who were looking forward to a depressing chapter full of self-loathing. That one _will_ come later, after Genrou remembers what he did to Houjun. I have to spend some time developing Houjun and Genrou's relationship, though. Maybe I'll be really cruel and have Genrou regain his Seishi memories at the same time that he remembers about Houjun...

Anyway, I want to know what you think! See the little drop-down menu at the bottom of the page? All you have to do is select "submit review", and you'll have my eternal gratitude.

~Mikazuki


	3. Not a Hellhole

Sorry about the age confusion, sssSCNARF. In the teaser, Genrou is 15. For the main part of the story, he's 19. I might give him a birthday at some point, though. Hmmm...

I'm so glad! You all seem to like it. I wasn't sure you'd be OK with my idea of making Genrou block out the memory of 'that day'.

I will tell you, though, that until Tasuki and Chichiri get their memories back, this might seem like your standard reincarnation-romance fic. Don't be fooled...just when things seem happiest, the angst will strike again...::evil grin:: I'm going to try hard to make it different from your standard reincarnation-romance, though.

Thank you to everyone that reviewed the first two chapters! I'm such a jerk to forget to acknowledge you until now...

Ack! Last chapter I promised to shut up, and look at me rambling on! I need this to be a manga, or something, so I can do chat sections...::laugh:: I'll let you read now...

-----_Scars_-----

--_Hikou_—

I was listening to Kouji and monitoring the conversation beside us at the same time, so I noticed when Genrou and Houjun just couldn't seem to find anything more to say. I signaled Kouji with my eyes. _We ought to talk to them, too._

He noticed our companions' predicament and took pity on them. He engaged Genrou in a lively discussion about certain sports teams that they didn't seem to agree on.

Houjun looked slightly lost at the topic. He'd never really been interested in team sports, or any sports at all, really, preferring to take walks as his exercise. Even though he lived in the middle of a large city, Houjun seemed to find peace in being outdoors.

Most of the time. Once, he'd come back from a walk missing an eye...but he still continued to wander around the city whenever the mood struck him.

Houjun and I listened to Genrou and Kouji discuss the merits of their respective teams.

I couldn't help but notice the way Houjun looked at Genrou. He looked at the man opposite him with an expression almost similar to the one on his face when he was regarding a passage in a confusing book. However, there was an extra dimension to the look Houjun had fixed on Genrou, one I'd never seen on my friend's face before. I couldn't read it. 

Tiring of his discussion with Genrou, Kouji turned to Houjun.

"Did I hear ya say earlier that y' were int'rested in China?"

Houjun nodded, a look of nervousness darkening his eye for a moment.

"I seen Genrou readin' about it, too. I never really got it, y'know, what was so interestin' about the geography a' th' place. Myths 'n' stuff 're cool, but Genrou reads these books 'bout landforms an' stuff that were around in ancient China. Sometimes he flips past pages so fast, ya'd swear they'd tear, an' other times he'll stare at one page for an hour." Kouji turned to Genrou. "Ya'd almost think he was lookin' fer somethin'."

Genrou looked a little embarrassed. "Well, ya see, I always liked ta climb mountains. I guess I just liked ta imagine mountains that were around there back then."

Houjun nodded. "I like mountain climbing, myself. But I like reading about Chinese myths rather than geography."

There was a look of surprise on Genrou's face. "Ya mean, like th' Four gods 'n' stuff? The twen'y-eight constellations?"

Houjun nodded, also looking surprised. "Aside from Anime otaku, you don't find many people around here who know about the Four gods..."

Genrou shrugged, vaguely sheepish. "I always liked myths. These ones just sorta seemed...familiar, like ya said earlier." 

Houjun nodded, a faraway look in his eyes. I knew that if he wasn't distracted soon, he'd be in his own world in a matter of seconds. 

"Hey, Houjun, if you're done with your tea, we should get going,"

Houjun looked a little startled, then nodded. "I'm finished." He took one last gulp of tea and stood up. 

"Let's go."

-_Genrou_-

As soon as I saw Houjun's place, I knew Kouji was right.

My apartment was a hellhole.

Not that I'd ever admit it to him, you understand. 

I couldn't believe that Houjun would let someone share this apartment for so little. It was large and full of light, about as far from my place as you could get. I guess I looked a little awed, because the next thing I knew there was a voice behind me, saying:

"Now d'ya admit yer place is a hellhole?"

I shook my head stubbornly. "But...this place's lots nicer..."

Kouji just laughed.

Hikou walked up behind Kouji and slung an arm around his waist. Looking at me, he asked, "What do you think?" 

"This place's...it's...it's great," I said, unable to come up with a better word. "D'ya think Houjun'd let me stay here?"

"Why wouldn't he?" Hikou asked, seeming genuinely curious. I couldn't help thinking, somehow, that there was something in his eyes...

"I dunno, I just didn' think he liked me all that much," I confessed, rather sadly.

Kouji laughed. "I've never known anyone, male 'r female, who was able to resist ya if ya liked 'em."

Slightly embarrassed, I laughed along with him and Hikou. Sure, I'd had lots of boyfriends and girlfriends, but I wasn't that bad, was I? Besides, it was never anything serious. Usually.

Hikou turned to the man behind him. "Don't you like Genrou, Houjun?" 

My face flamed. He'd been right there...

Houjun smiled at me. "Of course I like you. If you'd like to stay here, you're welcome to." He held out his hand. I took it, looking him in the eye. The nervousness I'd seen when we first met was almost gone. He looked sincere.

I smiled back at him. "I'd love ta stay here. This's a great place."

"All right, then." Houjun turned away. "I'll show you where your room will be."

He led me to a room with a large window in one wall. It was completely empty, except for the bed in one corner.

"This is Hikou's old room. You can do whatever you like with it."

Looking around, I decided that this place might be really nice. I just hoped Houjun would be able to shake off the last of that nervousness.

"You can move in next week." Houjun smiled briefly. "Feel free to look around the rest of the apartment. It's yours, now, too."

He left, and I went to sit in the center of the room. Closing my eyes, I let myself feel the apartment around me. It's a weird thing I've always done with rooms, houses, anywhere I'll be staying for a while. It helps me to be comfortable in a place, or sometimes lets me know that I shouldn't be comfortable somewhere.

Opening my eyes I smiled. This place would definitely be good.

-------To be continued.

I hope you liked it. I'm sorry if you think I made Houjun too freaked out, it just seems like he's the type of person who'd have a little trouble meeting new people. That, plus the fact that he's deadly afraid of thieves led me to write him that way. I mean, wouldn't you be scared if you had gotten your eye gouged out by one?

Anyway. I'm sorry I couldn't have this up sooner. I'd complain about my muse, but I don't have one...::sniff:: I have to write this stuff all on my own...

Please tell me what you think. You've all been great about that the past two chapters.

~Mikazuki


	4. Moving In

I've been called evil twice by my reviewers so far...anyone care to make a bet on how many times it'll be by the time this story's finished? 

Thank you to all my reviewers, even the two who think I'm evil...::grin::

Ha! I can shut up!

------_Scars_------

-_Kouji_- 

Genrou had finished shoving his belongings into boxes the night before, and now he was pacing restlessly up and down the one room of his "apartment."

"Calm down, buddy," I said, catching his shoulder as he passed me.

He shook off my hand, and sat down next to me on the floor. Every so often, he fidgeted.

We were waiting for Hikou, who was at Houjun's picking up the last of his stuff. He was going to come over and he and I were going to help Genrou move.

"What're ya so nervous about, anyway?" I asked.

He shrugged in a helpless manner, then stood up to rearrange the boxes lying piled near the door.

As he straightened an almost imperceptible tilt to the corner of the topmost box, there was a knock at the door.

Genrou jumped, startled,

"Knock, knock!

"Who's there?

"It's Hikou, Kouji's boyfriend, who's come to get Genrou out of this hellhole!

"Come right in, Hikou!

"Thank you!"

With this, the door was flung open to reveal Hikou, grinning like an idiot. Genrou looked at him, a knowing smirk on his face. 

"Ya've been hangin' around Kouji too much, Hikou."

"No such thing," he smiled, coming across the room to give me a hug.

"Yer impression a' me is kinda scary," I said. "But there're a few things ya need ta work on."

"Tell me on the way," he said. "Houjun's expecting us in a few minutes."

--_Houjun_--

I was sitting in my kitchen, staring at nothing. I do that a lot, and I think it annoys people. I can't help it, though; when I'm thinking hard, I just sort of slip off into a sort of trance. 

At this particular moment, I was fervently hoping that I'd made the right choice, allowing Genrou to move in with me.

He was nice. I knew he was. Yet, I couldn't shake the nagging doubts I had. I hoped that once I got used to having Genrou here, they would leave on their own.

A sudden pounding on the door made me snap back into the present.

"Houjun!" Hikou called.

I ran to the door and opened it. Sure enough, there they all were: Hikou, Kouji and Genrou. And a pile of boxes. They all seemed slightly out of breath. _Probably from lugging those boxes around, _I thought.

"We thought you were gone," Hikou said. "You didn't answer the first three times we knocked."

"Sorry," I said sheepishly. "I guess I just didn't hear you."

Hikou laughed. He knew what happened when I was thinking hard.

"Here," I reached for a box. "Let me help you guys."

It didn't take long to carry everything to Genrou's room.

--_Hikou_--

Houjun didn't seem nervous at all, I was glad to see. Not like Genrou, who'd been compulsively straightening boxes when I got to his apartment.

The only time I saw Houjun looking something other than cheerful the whole time we were there was when he reached for a box, only to find that Genrou was already holding it. He pulled his hand sharply off of Genrou's, blushing faintly and apologizing. Genrou looked surprised both by the contact and Houjun's reaction.

Smiling to myself, I filed that incident away for later use.

When everything had been moved to Genrou's room, we all went to the kitchen for tea. Well, Kouji and Genrou had coffee. Kouji's never liked tea. I'm not sure about Genrou.

This was pretty much a replay of the first time Houjun and Genrou had met. They couldn't find that much to talk about, though it was a little better than the last time. Still, Kouji and I ended up being the ones who talked the most. I was a little worried about Houjun and Genrou being roommates when they couldn't even carry on a conversation.

After Kouji and I had finished our respective caffinated drinks, Kouji and I left. After all, I still had to finish moving my stuff into Kouji's apartment.

As we left, I noticed Houjun starting to look nervous again.

"They'd make a cute couple, don'cha think?" Kouji pressed the button that would call the elevator, smiling.

"Real cute, Kouji. But I don't think it would work, seeing as they can't even have a conversation without long, uncomfortable pauses."

Kouji waved that away. "They just met. Give 'em a little time, an' ya won't be able t' shut 'em up."

"That may be so," I stepped into the elevator. "But Houjun's straight."

Kouji looked shocked. "He's straight? Are ya _sure? _" 

I thought for a minute. "Well, it isn't like Houjun's had that many girlfriends. I think there were three...but he was pretty serious about Kouran."

"Well, what happened?"

I shuddered. "Even I'm not sure." Houjun had never told me anything about it. "But let me just say that it did not end well..."

-_Genrou_-

After Kouji and Hikou left, everything was pretty much silent again.

I hated this. I wanted to be able to talk to him. I was _living_ with him, wasn't I?

"Do you want help unpacking your boxes...?" Houjun asked timidly.

I looked at him for a second. Was he really scared of me? "Yeah, thanks."

Houjun went to a drawer and got a pair of scissors. When I looked at him questioningly, he said with a completely straight face, "I'm planning on destroying anything I don't like."

I blinked at him. 

"They're for the tape on the boxes, no da!" he laughed.

I laughed with him, relieved that he felt comfortable enough to joke with me. "No da?" I asked.

He looked a little confused. "I haven't said that since I was a kid, no d--" He closed his mouth sharply and looked bewildered.

"I don' care if ya say it 'r not, I think it's kinda cute,"

He shook his head, but he was smiling. "Come on," he said, walking into my room.

--_Houjun_--

"Now, look, I've got 'n idea." Genrou said as we got to his room. "I don' want any long, awkward pauses, so any time ya hear one startin' up, I want ya t' say somethin'. Anythin'. I don't mind the occasional friendly pause, but those long ones where yer thinkin' 'what th' hell'm I s'posed ta say?' have gotta go."

I laughed. "All right."

It actually worked fairly well. We both made some very odd comments over the course of the afternoon, but there weren't as many pauses.

There were fewer strange things said over dinner, where it's less necessary to be saying something all of the time.

I actually felt pretty good about everything that day.

That night, I had two dreams, both of which I remember vividly. The first was a happy one. It involved a monk with blue hair and a large scar over one eye and a bandit with brilliant orange hair. They were watching the sun rising, and though there were silences, they weren't the kind Genrou had tried to banish. Throughout the dream there was a general feeling of peace and contentment.

The second dream contrasted sharply with the first.

It was about _her._

I saw it all again. My worst memories played out through the dream, and though I knew I was dreaming, I was powerless to stop the flow of images.

-_Genrou_-

I woke up in the middle of the night to hear whimpering from Houjun's room. Muffled sobs of pure unhappiness.

Blinking sleep from my eyes I crossed my room and I was almost at the door when I heard the door to Houjun's room open and close slowly. Footsteps padded across the carpet in the living room.

His crying had quieted a little now, and all that I could hear was the occasional shuddering breath.

I crept across the room and opened my door silently. Looking out through the crack, I could see Houjun standing at the window. The moonlight made his pale face glow, and by that glow I could see the glittering tracks on his cheek.

He whispered something softly to the stars, and fresh tears escaped from his eye. I closed my door gently, knowing he wanted to be alone.

--_Houjun_--

I slipped out of my room quietly, not wanting to wake Genrou. I walked to the window and looked out, remembering all of the times I had watched these same stars with her.

I wondered if she could see them, wherever she was. 

I wondered if she could see _me_. I hoped she could hear me.

"I'm so sorry, Kouran," I whispered.

-------To be continued

Dun dun duuuun... What happened to Kouran in this life? I've only got a vague idea right now. I will figure it out, though! I hope you'll still be reading this when I do.

I know it's gotten a little cliched... I'm so sorry...I'll try to make it better next time. Anyway. Please tell me what you think about it. I need your opinions.

~Mikazuki


	5. Walking and Working

I'm reallyreallyreally sorry about the wait...I started writing and then I couldn't figure out what to do. I had this done the 6th, but FFN wouldn't let me upload! I hope you think this chapter's worth it.

Also, to sssCHNARF, if you really want me to write that story, I'd be honored to. However, as it is your idea, I think you would probably be the best one to write it. That way, it'll come out the way you want it to. Even if you don't want to write it, you may want to give it to a better author than me. I can't be sure I'd write it up to your expectations...

------_Scars_-------

-_Genrou_-

When I woke up the next morning and dragged myself into the kitchen, Houjun was sitting at the table, smiling slightly at a cup of tea. All traces of last night's sorrow had vanished, and to look at him, you'd swear he hadn't a care in the world. 

__

Like he's wearing a fucking mask, I thought, annoyed. I've never been good at hiding how I feel, and when I meet someone who is, I'm never quite comfortable. I know that they have the upper hand.

"Good morning," he said cheerfully.

I grunted a barely intelligible response, the need for coffee making me inarticulate and sluggish. 

"There's a pot of coffee on the counter, if that's what you're after."

I blinked in surprise. Houjun didn't drink coffee. I knew that. He'd made coffee for me, then...?

I gave him a smile of thanks as I made my way to the counter and poured a mug of coffee. I drank it black, the way I always do. That's the only way for me to wake myself up.

It took a few minutes for the caffeine to take effect. When I came fully awake, I realized that the spot I'd been staring at was occupied by a rather large spider.

Houjun had seen it, too, and had gone for a wad of paper towel.

"Aw, don' kill it!" I exclaimed. I gulped the rest of my coffee and clapped the mug against the wall, covering the spider.

"D'you have, like...an index card, 'r somethin'?" I asked, looking back at Houjun.

--_Houjun_—

"Aw, don't kill it!"

I looked at him in surprise. It was a spider...it was invading the apartment...it was really big...I don't like spiders. 

I watched as he finished his coffee and put the mug against the wall, confining the spider.

"D'you have, like...an index card, 'r somethin'?"

I nodded, rummaging in a drawer. He reached over and pulled the three of spades and the ten of hearts off the top of the deck I'd held out. Carefully, he slid them under the mug, trapping the arachnid inside.

He transported it to the window and placed it on the ledge outside. Closing the window, he turned and smiled at me.

"I don' like spiders much, but I don' want anythin' ta die."

In that moment, all of the nervousness I'd felt about him evaporated.

"Holy shit!" He was staring at the clock.

"What's the matter, no da?" I asked, confused.

"I'm gonna be late!" he yelled over his shoulder as he ran for his room.

After Genrou had dashed out of the apartment at a breakneck speed that I worried really might break his neck, I felt strangely bored. Though it seemed odd, in the short time I'd known him, I'd grown to feel so comfortable with Genrou that it was as if he'd always been with me.

I wandered around the apartment, picking up things that were out of place, dusting, and eventually settling in front of the computer. 

A check of my email showed a cheerful message from Hikou, which informed me that things were perfect for him and Kouji and asking how things were for Genrou and me.

Things were pretty good for Genrou and me, too. I'd gotten more comfortable with him now that he'd imposed the "no silences" rule. I wrote Hikou an equally cheerful reply, missing Genrou's nearly constant, happy chatter. I've never been one to talk a lot, so his half-thought-out sentences were somewhat comforting.

__

He was comforting, I realized. _Strange..._ That wasn't a word I thought I'd ever connect with an ex-thief. 

Absently, I clicked the mouse and sent the reply to Hikou. Then, without any thought whatsoever, I walked to the closet in the front room and grabbed my jacket. I stepped out the door and walked to the elevator as thought I'd planned to the whole time I'd been writing to Hikou.

And so I left for a walk.

The note I'd left in case Genrou returned (I had no idea what hours he worked,) read simply:

__

1:10--

Genrou,

Gone for a walk. I'll be back soon. 

Houjun.

-_Genrou_-

On Saturdays, I worked a checkout counter at Shop 'n Save from 10 to 4. It's pretty boring. People come up to you with their purchases, one every few minutes, or more, if you work the express lane, and after a while, their faces blend together and you feel like a broken record player, sweeping your arm to check in the items and repeating, over and over, "Have a nice day!"

It's money, though, and I need that.

Still, I can't help being glad when my shift is over.

When I got home, the first thing I did was look to see if Houjun was there. I couldn't find him, and I was a little worried until I found his note on the table.

Then I was really worried.

He'd been gone since one-ten!

I didn't know how long his walks usually lasted, but I knew someone who did.

I rushed to the phone and dialed Kouji's number, praying that Hikou was there.

--_Houjun_—

It's stupid. I've lived in this city forever, and I've been taking walks here for almost as long.

I don't know what I did. A turn down an unfamiliar street, for variety, and after that a few more turns that I thought would bring me to my destination—the park.

They didn't. I tried to retrace my steps, but I found that all that did was further entangle my usually good sense of direction.

Finally, I admitted defeat. 

I was lost.

Neither the cold nor the wind that had just sprung up was helping my situation. I knew my windbreaker wasn't going to be enough.

And to top it all off, some very suspicious-looking people were staring at me...

-_Genrou_-

"Hello?"

"Hey, Kouji, it's Genrou. I need t' talk ta Hikou fer a minute."

"What's wrong with talkin' t' me?" He sounded offended, but I knew he was joking.

"Now isn' the time, Kouji," I growled. "I need t' talk ta Hikou!"

"A' right, a' right, lemme get 'im."

A pause, footsteps, and Kouji's voice in the distance, yelling "Hikou! Phone!"

A click, and then: "Hello?"

"Hey, Hikou, it's Genrou."

"Oh, hi, Genrou. What's the matter?"

"Um, could ya tell me how long Houjun usually walks fer?"

"Not usually much longer than an hour, why?" he asked, worry growing in his voice.

I was in a panic now. Houjun had been gone for about _three_ hours, and it was beginning to get dark.

"He left this note fer me at about one-ten that said he'd gone fer a walk. I just got home an' I saw the note and wondered if he'd ever walked that long before."

"_Three hours?! _" Hikou cried, sounding about the way I felt.

I didn't say anything.

"Kouji and I will be right over. Wait for us and we'll all look for him together."

"Okay..."

"See you then." There was a second click, and the dial tone returned.

I hung up the phone, hoping that Houjun had just run into an old friend and decided to catch up.

The sinking feeling in my stomach told me something different, though.

--_Houjun_—

I edged nervously away from the people who were watching me. It was growing dusky. I looked around for a streetlight. Something told me that standing in the light was a good idea, though I didn't know why. There were no other people around.

There weren't any streetlamps around, either.

Footsteps behind me made me whirl around.

A man in dark clothing stood in front of me, holding a knife threateningly. I wondered for a second where the other people I'd seen had gone.

"Give me your wallet." There was no room for questions in that voice.

"I don't have any money..." I said, trying to stay calm.

"We'll see about that," The man said, grinning nastily.

It was only as something hard hit me in the back of the head that I realized that the others I'd seen had made a circle and closed in behind me.

As everything swirled into blackness, I managed to murmur one thing.

"Genrou..."

---To be continued

Bwahahaha...I _am_ evil, aren't I? This chapter is going to up my "evil count", I suspect. I want to know what you think. Please review, even if you do call me evil in the process. 

~Mikazuki


	6. Finding Houjun

Sorry if this took too long. I know you all want to find out what happened to Houjun.

Poor guy, he has really bad luck with unsavory characters, doesn't he? I hadn't thought about it until Flighting Dreams pointed it out, but the attack on Houjun is kinda like the way Yui was treated when she re-entered the book...Don't worry, Houjun didn't get raped, either. I may be evil, but I'm not that evil. 

Thanks to all of my reviewers! You're great, all of you! 

------_Scars_------- 

-_Genrou_- 

I paced the room as I waited for Kouji and Hikou to arrive. I tried not to think of all the horrible things that could have happened to Houjun. 

I jumped as a light rap sounded at the door. 

"Knock, knock!" 

"Who's th--" I yanked open the door. 

"Hey!" Kouji yelped, indignant at being startled out of his routine. 

"Finish yer greetin' in th' car." I snapped. "We ain't got time ta stand around." 

By the look on his face, I could see that Hikou agreed with me. Kouji looked startled. I swept past them and practically ran to the elevator. Hikou followed me, dragging Kouji. 

"Didn' ya explain th' situation ta him?" I asked Hikou, jerking a thumb at Kouji. The aforesaid midnight-haired man was currently leaning against the elevator wall, grumbling to himself. 

Hikou shook his head, about to answer, but Kouji spoke first. 

"Naw, he just dragged me outta the house, sayin' somethin' about not havin' time ta explain." 

Hikou looked a little sheepish. "Well, I wanted to get him here as quickly as possible..." 

I sighed in annoyance. "Ok, then, Kouji, I'm sorry fer bein' snappish earlier. Ya didn' know what was goin' on."

At that moment, the elevator doors opened, and Hikou pulled Kouji out of the elevator.

"Oi, Hikou!" I called. "Not our floor yet!"

"Oh. Right." He dragged Kouji back into the elevator, apologizing to the confused woman who was trying to board.

After a few seconds, Kouji took Hikou's hand, which was still clenched in his jacket, and swung Hikou's arm around his shoulder.

"That's better," he grinned. Hikou smiled back at him.

The woman on the other side of the elevator gave them an odd look as the elevator doors opened again, this time on the ground floor.

"So, are ya gonna tell me what's goin' on, 'r what?" Kouji asked as we ran for the car.

"Houjun went out walking three hours ago and he isn't back yet." Hikou opened the driver's door.

"What?!" Kouji settled in beside him.

"Yep," I said, climbing into the back seat.

"Now, I'd be worried anyway, but it's starting to get dark. I'm entering a panic right now," Hikou stated, with such a completely straight face that I had to laugh.

"I'm glad _you_ think it's funny," he said, annoyed.

"No, it's jus' th' way ya said it..." I snickered. "But we gotta hurry! Why ain't ya started th' car yet?!"

As he pulled out of the driveway, I asked, "Hey, Hikou? D'you know where Houjun usually walks?"

"I've never gone walking with him," Hikou answered. "But he does often talk about going to the park."

"Good. Now we know where not ta look."

"Huh?" Kouji looked confused. "But..."

"Think about it," I said. "If he usually goes ta th' park, wouldn't he be able ta find his way home from there?"

"Well, yeah, unless he got attacked, 'r somethin'..."

I flinched. I didn't want to think about that, but... "If he got attacked in th' park, somebody woulda found him. They'd've brought him home, 'r called an ambulance, 'r somethin'. An' Houjun had his driver's license with him, so they'da known where he lived, right?"

__

And I just don't feel like he's in the park, I added silently. 

"A'right, we'll look somewhere else, okay, Hikou?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Hikou agreed.

And we did. For an hour. He wasn't anywhere that we'd looked.

I think we should split up--" Hikou broke off as Kouji protested, "No, listen, we should split up. We'll cover more ground that way. We'll meet back by the park in an hour." He paused. "And if we haven't found him by then..." His voice trailed away.

"Then he's prob'ly at home, wonderin' where everybody is." Kouji finished firmly.

I nodded. "Okay. By th' park in an hour."

I turned and strode away purposefully.

I was pretty familiar with the streets, having lived on them for years. And though I hated to admit it, I knew better than most how thieves thought. If Houjun had been mugged, it wouldn't have been anywhere around here. I stared up and down the road, lit brightly by the cheerful glow of the city lights. Too bright for anyone to try anything.

Making my decision, I turned and headed down the street towards an area I knew to have several dark alleys.

-_Kouji_-

"Knock, knock.

"Who's there?

"It's Kouji, wonderin' if any a' you guys've seen a weird-lookin' man with brown hair today."

"That depends. Is he cute?"

"He ain't yer type, Eiken. Besides that, we think he's straight. Besides _that_, if he _ain't_ straight, I think ya'd hafta get past Genrou before ya laid a finger on him."

"Damn." 

"So, anybody seen 'im?"

There was a jumbled chorus of "no"s. 

It was going to be a long night.

--_Hikou_--

I understood Genrou's reasoning behind not wanting to look in the park. Still, we hadn't had any luck so far. What did I have to lose by checking?

I scoured the park. I looked around every bush, behind every fallen log, at the foot of every hill.

There was no sign of him anywhere.

The night passed on.

--_Houjun_--

__

* I was walking down a dusty road, with Genrou lagging behind me. I was wearing clothes that I'd never seen in my life, except in the dreams I'd had before about that monk: A white, cottony tunic, green pants, and a woolly blue cape with swirling designs on it. I was carrying a staff, _of all things_._ And yet, somehow, these clothes fit me better than anything else I'd ever worn._

Genrou, too, was wearing something odd. A long, black coat, trimmed in turquoise, with tall boots to match. On an ornate strap across his chest, there hung a metal fan. He was dressed exactly like the bandit that sometimes showed up in those dreams. I didn't have time to puzzle this out, because Genrou called,

"Oi, Chichiri, I'm tiiiired..." 

"It isn't far to the next town, Tasuki, no da." My voice seemed higher than normal. And why had I called Genrou "Tasuki"?

"I ain't gonna walk any further." To emphasize his point, he plunked himself down on the road behind me. "Why don't ya just use yer hat an' teleport us there?"

"Because the point of being a wandering monk is to wander_, no da. The journey is just as important as the destination." I walked over and sat down beside him. "But we can take a break, if you're that tired, no da."_

He sighed. "A' right." He let his head fall down to rest on my shoulder. For some reason, that didn't surprise me.

" 'Chiri?" he looked at me. 

"Hmm?"

"I love ya."

"I love you, too, Tas."

And then he kissed me. 

It didn't surprise me a bit.

-_Genrou_-

I had checked several alleys, and none of them had revealed my friend. 

Stepping into the second-to-last one I knew of in that area, I felt an odd tingle at the back of my neck.

My toe struck something, which skidded a few feet away at the contact. Leaning down, I saw that it was a knife. I picked it up. 

There was something _very_ familiar about the handle. 

On closer inspection I saw that it was _my_ knife. I'd lost it years ago. I had always wondered what had happened to it.

But there was something on the blade...

__

Blood. 

Blue hair, people crowding around, running, running away.

Flinging the knife out of my sight.

I shook myself.

What was that?

-_Kouji_-

Time was nearly up, so I headed back to the park. Hikou was already there.

"Where's Genrou?" I asked.

"I don't know. He hasn't shown up yet."

The minutes ticked by, and the air was thick with a worried silence.

"Maybe he's found Houjun?" I suggested.

Hikou nodded hopefully.

More time passed. 

"That's it, I'm gonna look fer him," I said.

At that moment a figure appeared on the sidewalk.

-_Genrou_-

Stepping further into the alley, I could see something in the shadows at the end. My heart leapt.

"Houjun?" I called.

No answer. 

I approached what I could now tell was a body.

Brown hair. Pale skin, covered with cuts and bruises. One eye closed, the other...

The other sealed shut by a long, thick scar, obviously old. 

__

A sickening jerk as the knife pulled free, running from the memory, running.

Nauseous and sick, can't accept it...

So that's why he wears his bangs over one eye..."Houjun?" I knelt beside him. "Oh, gods, no..."

Pulling his head onto my lap, I quickly found a pulse. It was weak, but it was steady and it was _there_.

"Thank you, Suzaku," I breathed, then paused. _Suzaku?_ I had no idea why I had pulled out the name of an ancient god...

Glancing at my watch, I saw I also had no time to wonder. Kouji and Hikou expected me in three minutes.

"Gen...rou...?" 

"Houjun!" I looked down at him. "C'mon, Hikou an' Kouji an' me were lookin' fer ya, an' now I'm s'posed ta meet 'em at th' park."

Houjun blinked at me.

"Just come on," I sighed, helping him to his feet...

Only to have him collapse back to a sitting position with a cry of pain.

"Are ya all right?"

"I don't think I can stand," He said, slightly breathless. "I think my legs are broken."

Judging by the angles that they were bent at, I thought he was right.

"Okay." I bent down and scooped him up. He wasn't very heavy. "I'll just have t' carry ya."

Houjun looked surprised. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you,"

"I'm fine," I assured him. "We gotta get you there, an' I don' mind carryin' ya.

That was true. I didn't mind at all.

-----------To be continued.

Reprise of the "Tas" and "Chiri". Did you like it? I'm sorry if Genrou and Hikou seemed a little too sharp with Kouji at the beginning. Worry will do odd things to a person.

About the dream Houjun had: He's dreamed about Tasuki and Chichiri before, but he's always been watching both of them, he's never been Chichiri in a dream before, and he didn't hear the names "Tasuki" and "Chichiri" in any of his other dreams. Also, Tasuki and Chichiri have never acted like a couple in his other dreams. I hope that clears up your questions about it.

Also, this is the first time Genrou has seen Houjun's scar. Houjun is _very_ good at keeping it hidden.

So, tell me what you think. I want to hear from you guys!

~Mikazuki


	7. Help

Was last chapter really that confusing? I'm sorry...   
  
Ok, first off, about the knife, nobody found it in the time between when Genrou threw it away and when he found it again. I'm not sure why, maybe nobody was looking at the ground very carefully, or maybe it was hidden and it got knocked out of its hiding place during Houjun's struggle with the gang. Maybe both. You can decide. I meant for the knife to show that Houjun got attacked in the alley that Genrou ran to after he'd accidentally attacked Houjun.   
  
Second, about Genrou and Houjun's relationship, well, I haven't really had time to develop it. You can expect more development now, though, if I can just figure out how to get Genrou to realize he's got feelings for Houjun...   
  
Third, Kouji was talking to his old friends. As you probably already know, Eiken was the name of the bandit who tried to steal the leadership from Genrou. (He shows up in episode 14, or about halfway through volume 4.) 

Fourth, Genrou just has these weird snippets of the day he hurt Houjun. He doesn't really remember them fully yet, so don't worry. The angst is going to go on as planned, since I know how you're all looking forward to it.

  
And finally, Houjun's legs were broken by the people who knocked him out. They found out that he wasn't lying when he said he didn't have any money, and they decided to beat him up. Or something close to that.   
  
Geez, this note's more than a page long! I hope that answers everyone's questions! I'll just say **_thank you_** to my reviewers and let you get on with the chapter.   
  
  
  
---------_Scars_----------   
  
  
  
--_Houjun_--   
  
The strangest way to wake up has to be when you come almost straight out of a dream to see the person from your dream leaning over you.   
  
"Gen...rou...?" My voice didn't want to work. Whether it was the pain that I was just now registering from all parts of my body or the surprise of having him apparently step out of my dream with me, I don't know.   
  
"Houjun!" He looked down at me. "C'mon, Hikou an' Kouji an' me were lookin' fer ya, an' now I'm s'posed ta meet 'em at the park."   
  
I blinked at him, only half-understanding what he'd said.   
  
He sighed. "Just come on."   
  
He helped me to my feet, only to grab for me as I fell back to my knees. I tried unsuccessfully to keep from crying out at the pain in my legs.   
  
"Are ya all right?" he asked, looking worried.   
  
"I don't think I can stand," I said, gasping a little. "I think my legs are broken." A somewhat unnecessary comment, as one was bent at an odd angle in front of me, and the other was rather swollen.   
  
"Okay." he said, bending to pick me up. "I'll just have t' carry ya."   
  
"Are you sure?" I asked, surprised, as he started to carry me out of the alley. "I don't want to hurt you." I just didn't like having to impose on someone like that. I hate to be a bother.  
  
"I'm fine," he said. "We gotta get you there, an' I don' mind carryin' ya."   
  
I smiled. "Thanks."   
  
"Don' mention it," he said cheerfully.   
  
Silence for a few moments. _He's so warm_... I scowled inwardly. Since when do I think like a shoujo manga heroine? But the fact was, he was warm. And I could feel his heart beating. And I'd just had that dream about him.   
  
And he was carrying me...   
  
Though I felt bad about inconveniencing him like this, I couldn't help enjoying it a little.

-_Genrou_- 

Do you know how hard it is to watch someone without looking like you're watching them _while you're carrying them?_ Let me tell you, it isn't easy. I managed though, mostly because Houjun seemed to be trying hard _not_ to look at me. He was decidedly pink in the face.

I wondered what he was thinking about to make him blush like that.

"Hey, Houjun, do ya mind if we sit fer a minute?"

I knew right away that this was the wrong thing to say. A guilty look crossed Houjun's face and he looked up at me apologetically. 

"I'm sorry. I can try to walk--"

"Y' know ya can't," I carefully set him down on the ground. His face twisted briefly as, despite my best efforts, his leg bumped slightly on the pavement. "Y' can't even _stand_."

"Well, why don't you go ahead and get Hikou and Kouji, and I'll wait for you here," he said.

I shook my head, sitting down beside him. "It's not safe fer ya t' just sit by th' side a' th' road when yer hurt this bad. 'Sides, I already told ya, I don' mind carryin' ya. Yer not that heavy." I laughed a little, and he smiled, though he still didn't seem happy about being carried. 

"Well, as long as you're sure..." he said uncertainly.

"I'm sure. Anyway, this way ye'll get t' th' hospital quicker." Also, I found that I was strangely attached to the idea of carrying him.

"Okay, I'm ready t' keep goin'." I stood, stretching.

I picked him back up and kept walking. 

Somewhere along the way, he fell asleep.

-_Kouji_-

"It's Genrou!" I said to Hikou. It was too dark out for me to see his face, but I recognized the way he walked, though his pace was slower, an I could see that he was carrying something that appeared to hinder his movement.

As he drew closer, I could see what it was.

A body.

"Oh, gods..." Hikou breathed.

But what I noticed was the smile on Genrou's face. It was a look of peace and contentment, and so I wasn't worried about Houjun.

"It's a'right," Genrou whispered as he reached us. "He's pretty beat up, but he's just sleepin', nothin' t' worry about." 

I had no doubt that he was unaware of the fond expression that softened his face as he looked down at the man in his arms.

Noting the swelling in Houjun's ankle and the unnatural hang of his other leg, I said, "Well, put 'im in th' car, an' we'll go t' th' hospital."

Genrou nodded and did his best to settle Houjun into the car without waking him. Houjun shifted a little, but he didn't wake up.

"I'll sit in th' back with 'im," Genrou said. I smiled. 

I hadn't been expecting otherwise.

--_Hikou_—

I drove again, which I guess was to be expected, as it was my car.

We arrived at the hospital without further incident, and as I pulled the car into an available place, I could hear Genrou gently shaking Houjun and murmuring, "Hey, we're at th' hospital,"

Houjun's eyes blinked open and he stifled a yawn. "Okay."

"Hey, Kouji, why don'cha go get one a' those wheelchairs fer Houjun? It'd be th' easiest way t' get him inta th' building."

Houjun looked at the floor of the car, slightly pink. I knew him well enough that I could guess how he'd felt about getting carried.

Kouji returned with the wheelchair and offered to help Houjun into it.

"That's a'right, I'll do it," Genrou said immediately.

I turned to Houjun. "So, how's it feel to have cute guys fighting over you?"

"What, you mean you don't know?" Houjun asked in mock innocence.

We all laughed. 

Genrou ended up helping Houjun into the chair, though Houjun insisted on wheeling it himself.

-_Genrou_-

It was the weirdest thing. Ever since I'd seen that scar, the pull at my memory that Houjun caused had gotten so much stronger. And I couldn't deny that I was attracted to him, either. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I studied him. The lined of his face drawn forward in concentration, the exact tilt of the eyebrows, the color of his eye, even the scar seemed familiar. 

Though I couldn't help feeling that his hair should be some other color. And _why_ should I think that?

Suddenly, a breeze came out of nowhere, ruffling Houjun's hair and flicking at his bangs, so that for a split second they stood nearly straight up.

In that moment, I had it, and I couldn't believe I had been so blind.

Houjun looked _just_ like Chichiri, a monk I sometimes dreamed about, though his hair was brown instead of blue. Everything else was the same, even that scar.

What the hell was going on here?

-_Houjun_-

My arms were tired by the time we got inside the hospital, but I didn't say anything. I had inconvenienced enough people tonight. I could do this myself.

Once inside, there was a nurse who wouldn't let me continue to push myself. I was silently relieved.

Over about an hour of x-rays and waiting, it was determined that I had a bad break in my left leg, and that I had sprained my right ankle. Within the next hour, they had set and cast my broken leg and advised me to keep an ace bandage around my right ankle and put ice on it if I felt I needed to.

Then they sent me home.

-_Kouji_-

When we got to their apartment building, I turned to tell Genrou and Houjun that they were home. The words died in my throat at what I saw.

They were both asleep. Houjun's head had fallen onto Genrou's shoulder, and Genrou had leaned against Houjun. They both had slight smiles on their faces. I almost didn't want to wake them up.

Almost.

-----To be continued

First of all, I want to say that I did originally have Houjun's hair blue, but he doesn't seem like the type to dye his hair, and blue isn't a natural color in our world. If you look back, you'll see that I changed it in the first chapter, but not in the teaser. The reason why Houjun's hair was blue in the teaser? He did it on a dare, and dyed his hair back immediately after he'd gotten out of the hospital. (I needed to leave the blue in that chapter because it's the color of Houjun's hair that causes Genrou to notice him, remember?)

Anyway, thanks for reading this. I'm really sorry about the long author's notes and the wait for this chapter. It _really_ didn't want to get written. I also apologize if this chapter isn't very good. Like I said, it didn't lend itself to the writing. 

So, tell me what you think...please?

~Mikazuki


	8. Peroxide and Pondering

Thankyouthankyou_thankyou_ for the reviews! You all liked it! I'm happy now. And I'm on vacation! Let's see how many chapters I can post...

Only a one question this time...am I getting less confusing? I hope so. Anyway. Answers.

Genrou didn't just call an ambulance because he doesn't have a cell phone, and though he may have passed pay phones, he didn't have any spare change on him. Besides, I wanted him to carry Chiri. Say _that_ five times fast. Carry Chiri carry Chiri carry Chiri........

*ahem* On with the chapter.

-------_Scars_--------

--_Houjun_--

"Oi, Houjun! GENROU! YER HOOOOOO-OOOOME!"

"Daa!"

"Gah! Kouji! What th' hell wazzat fer?!"

"You guys looked so comfortable back there that I couldn't resist," Kouji grinned.

That was when we realized the position we were in. 

We pulled away from each other, blushing and apologizing profusely.

Kouji and Hikou were laughing. "What's so funny?" Genrou wanted to know.

"Nothing," Hikou chuckled. "You'll figure it out, sooner or later."

Shaking his head, Genrou opened his door and stepped out. I pushed the door on my own side open, fumbling with my crutches and trying to figure out which leg it would hurt the least to stand on.

"Hey, Houjun," Genrou called concernedly. "Y' want any help?"

"No, I'm all---" I was cut off by Genrou pulling my arm around his shoulders and putting his own around me. "--right..."

"Put yer crutch on th' other side," he directed.

"I don't need any help, no da..." I protested weakly.

He grinned at me. "Yeah, sure."

I blinked.

-_Genrou_-

As soon as I woke up, I knew that I had fallen asleep somewhat entangled with Houjun. For some reason, I didn't want to move. I didn't want Houjun to know that, though, so as soon as Kouji drew attention to our position, I pulled away from Houjun, an embarrassed blush on my face.

I stepped out of the car, annoyed that Hikou and Kouji were laughing at us. I didn't see what was so funny. We'd just fallen asleep!

On his side of the car, Houjun was opening the door and trying rather unsuccessfully to get his crutches into place. Watching him, I realized that he still wouldn't be able to walk very well. It can't be comfortable to walk on a broken leg--even a cast one--and a sprain. 

"Hey, Houjun," I called. "Y' want any help?"

He began to respond in the negative, but I didn't let him finish. I put his arm around my shoulders and looped my own arm under his for support.

"I don't need any help, no da" he murmured uncertainly.

"Yeah, sure."

He blinked at me, an odd look in his eyes.

"C'mon, let's go inside. It's gettin' kinda chilly out here."

He nodded and we started walking, slowly, Houjun leaning heavily on my shoulder. 

--_Houjun_--

When we got back to the apartment, Genrou disappeared. A minute later I heard him calling, "Hey, Houjun, whered'ya keep yer disinfectant?"

"In the medicine cabinet behind the bathroom mirror, no da," I yelled back. 

Smiling, Genrou reappeared carrying a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and a plastic bag of cotton balls. He pulled out the chair next to mine and sat, opening the bottle.

"What's that for...?"

"Y' got cuts all over ya." Genrou soaked a cotton ball. "Y' been lyin' in a dirty alley, an' they didn' do nothin' fer yer cuts at the hospital. Yer gonna get infected if ya ain't careful." Gently he dabbed at a cut on my arm. I winced.

"Sorry. I don' like this stuff either, but it works best."

"I can do this, Genrou." I tried to take the cotton ball from him. He moved his hand quickly, swabbing another cut. I winced again. "You've done enough for me already."

He ignored me, carefully cleaning another cut and discarding the cotton ball. 

"Genrou!" He looked up from the cotton he was dampening. "I'm not helpless!"

"I never said ya were," He calmly wiped a scratch and reached for my other arm.

I pulled it away. "I can do it."

He looked at me. "I just want t' help ya," He said, a little sadly.

"You've already helped me a lot." I winced as another scrape was cleaned unexpectedly. I could well believe he used to be a thief; I hadn't even noticed him taking my arm.

"That's sneaky, no da!" 

He grinned at me. "Can I help ya? Please?"

"Why?" Why should he want to help me so badly?

"'Cause I like ya. Yer my friend. I like ta help my friends."

I gave up. "All right, if you really want to..."

Finishing my arm, he got a new piece of cotton and reached out to put his hand under my chin. "Hold still," he ordered. "This one's pretty bad." 

I stiffened with a small gasp as he started to clean the cut on my face. 

"Sorry," he murmured, rubbing still more gently.

He brushed his hand over my other cheek. My face tingled, and somehow, I didn't think it was because of the peroxide.

"Just checkin'." He grinned. " Y' had some dirt on yer cheek, an' I wanted t' make sure I didn' miss a cut."

"Thanks, Genrou," I said with a small smile. 

"I ain't done yet," he said. "Take off yer shirt."

-_Genrou_-

As I watched Houjun's eye widen, I realized how that must have sounded.

"That ain't what I meant, ya pervert," I smacked the side of his head gently. "Whaddaya take me fer?"

Houjun blushed. "I--I wasn't thinking..._that_..."

I laughed. "It's just, y' got blood on yer shirt,"

"Oh." Houjun looked relieved and a little embarrassed. 

"My fault," I said. "Bad choice a' words." 

I tried to look at the ground as Houjun removed the stained garment.

"Pass me th' peroxide?"

"Here," he said, handing me the bag of cotton balls as well.

His back was a crisscross of faint red lines. I reached out and began to clean them. I felt Houjun tense as the peroxide contacted the scratches.

"Sorry," I said.

"That's okay, na no da." 

I smiled, quickly finishing the scrapes.

"Thanks again, no da," he said. "And I'm not going to take off my pants, so don't ask."

I laughed. "I wasn' gonna."

--_Houjun_--

The next morning, I woke late to hear Genrou on the phone. I made my way to the kitchen.

"Yeah, it was a friend a' mine."

Pause.

"No, sir, won' happen again."

Pause.

"Thank you, sir."

He hung up. "Houjun!" he said cheerfully. "Morning."

"Who was that, no da?"

"Uhm...that was one a' my bosses."

"Why did he call?"

"Worried, 'cause I missed work yesterday." 

A phrase from the conversation flashed through my head. '_Yeah, it was a friend a' mine._' Genrou had missed work because of _me._ I felt awful.

"I'm sorry, Genrou..."

"I'm not blamin' ya!" he said.

"It's my fault, though. I _am_ the idiot who got lost, after all."

"It's okay, Houjun."

"No, it's not! You missed work because I was stupid enough to walk into a part of the city that I don't know."

"Everybody makes mistakes. 'S okay, though. I didn' get inta trouble, th' boss was just worried."

"I'm sorry, Genrou."

"I already told ya, it's okay." He tossed a teabag into the mug of hot water beside him and handed it to me, smiling. I couldn't help smiling back.

"Sit down," He pulled out the chair next to his. I did so. As I did, my eye fell on the clock. 

"Don't you have to be at work at ten, no da?"

"Only on Saturdays and Tuesdays. Sunday is my day of rest." He grinned. "Well, Sunday morning, anyway."

"I'm glad you have some time off." I sipped my tea. 

"Not as glad as I am." He laughed.

As he drank his coffee, I watched him. There was no doubt about it, Genrou definitely resembled Tasuki. _He's very handsome_. I tried to squash the thought without much success. 

__

Well, it's true. Nothing wrong with noticing something that's very_ obvious. It doesn't mean I like him as anything more than a friend. I just happen to think he's very good-looking. And he's not just good looking, he's also kind and he makes me laugh. I feel safe when he's around. _

Blinking, I wondered where that last thought had come from. _It's true, _I realized. _I do feel safe with him around._ Shaking my head a little, I thought, _Listen to me. I sound like I've got a crush on him._ My eye widened. _Oh, blast..._

-_Genrou_-

Houjun was awfully quiet. I could feel his eye boring into me. I looked at him. Yup, he was staring at me. I laughed to myself. I drank some coffee and went back to reading the comics. _I don't care that he's staring at me. It doesn't bother me at all._ I stared back at him. He didn't seem to notice. He was too caught up in whatever he was wondering about. _He's cute when he's thinking hard...Hell, he's cute anyway. _ I smiled.

"Hey, Houjun?" No response.

"Houjun?" Nothing. Then, on a whim, I said clearly:

"Hey, Chichiri!"

-------To be continued

Phew. That took a couple hours...

And to Keimei: Of _course_ you get to see Kouji wake them up!

What do you think? Did you like it? Was it just weird? I'm not sure how well this chapter came out, so reviews would be nice. 

~Mikazuki


	9. Memories

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry! ::cleans dust off of the fic:: I know I haven't updated forever, and this doesn't really count as an update, since it's just a rewrite. It does change the story a bit, though, and I'm gonna post Chapter Ten (which is already written) as soon as this shows up. Anyway, read this, and please don't hate me about the wait. I'll do my best from here on out, but it won't be as fast as I used to be, since I'm currently co-authoring "Insight" with Xellas M. (It's under the pen name Ambika-san Xellas–go check it out if you haven't read it yet. I'm doing the Tasuki chapters.) 

Formatting fixed!

Anyway, I'll be quiet. On with the fic! 

-------_Scars_------ 

-_Genrou_ -

Houjun blinked. "Did you say something? Oh, geez, have I been staring at you? I'm sorry..." 

I smiled. "Hey, s ok. I know I'm a good lookin' guy" I was faintly disappointed that he hadn't reacted to the name Chichiri.' Well, what did you expect, idiot? Chichiri's just some guy from a dream. 

Houjun blushed, laughing a little. "Well, since you're obviously very confident about that, you don't need my reassurance, no da." 

I laughed along with him. "Come on, an ego boost never hurts..." 

He just smiled. 

Glancing at the clock, I stood and set my empty coffee mug on the counter by the sink. "Hey, I told Kouji I'd meet him at th' park at ten-thirty. I'm gonna be headin' ta work after that, so I'll be gone fer a while." I looked at Houjun. He nodded. 

"All right. What time does your shift end?" 

"Six. I oughta be back here by...say, six-fifteen?" 

He nodded again. "I'll see you, then." 

"Try not ta miss me too much, kay?" I laughed, opening the door. 

Houjun shook his head, smiling. "Bye!" 

--_Houjun_ --

I frowned at the coffee mug on the countertop. I needed to get Genrou to take care of his dishes...Sighing, I picked it up and swished warm water around it. I'd just set it on the top rack of the dishwasher when the phone rang. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey, Houjun. It's Hikou." 

"Oh, Hikou! What's up?" I noticed a battered paperback lying on the floor a few steps away. 

"Nothing. Genrou just stole Kouji from me, that's all. I'm bored." 

"Come over, if you like." 

"Thanks. I think I will." I could tell by the tone of his voice that he had been hoping for an invitation when he had decided to call me. "I'll see you in a few minutes then." 

"All right." 

I hung up the phone and somehow managed to maneuver my crutched so that I could pick up the book on the floor. Glancing at the cover, I saw that it was a much-read copy of Watership Down. I smiled. I hadn't read this for ages. I figured I was about due. 

I was immersed in the book by the time Hikou arrived. I did manage to hear his knock, though, and I turned down the corner of an already dog-eared page before rising to get the door. 

"Hey." I stood aside, holding the door open to allow Hikou inside. 

He glanced around, smiling. "Nice to see that you haven't let Genrou make a mess of this place yet." 

I laughed and wondered how much of a disaster Genrou's old apartment had been. Judging by the dishes he consistently left at the side of the sink, I thought I had a pretty good idea. "Yeah, I've managed to battle the clutter that springs up around him..." I joked, leading Hikou into the living room. "Sit down." 

He did. "So, how's it going? With Genrou, I mean." 

"Fine, no da, just like I said in the email." 

"Well, I like to ask about this stuff in person. Emails don't give you tone of voice or facial expressions." Hikou smiled. 

I grinned. "What facial expressions do you think you're missing?" 

"I don't know, that's why I wanted to see them."

"Well? Did you see any important ones?"

"No." Hikou sighed, as though disappointed. "I was hoping you'd blush or something, but I guess I'm going to have to try harder to find proof that you've got a crush on Genrou."

My eyes widened and I blushed slightly before getting my face under control. Unfortunately, Hikou hasn't been my best friend since first grade for nothing. He can read my expressions–or lack thereof–better than anyone.

"You _do_ like him, don't you!" 

I shook my head, stuttering denials, while the flush on my cheeks gave me away.

Hikou laughed. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

I sighed and fell silent. Sometimes I wished Hikou didn't know me quite so well.

-_Genrou_ -

Kouji thought it was hilarious.

At least, that was what I gathered from his laughter.

"Sorry, buddy," he chuckled. "But I called this one so quick it ain't even funny."

"If it ain't funny, then why are ya laughin'?" I asked, annoyed. "And what d'ya mean, ya called it?"

"Firs' thing I said ta Hikou when we left after helpin' ya move in was, They'd make a cute couple, don'cha think?'"

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh, yeah? An' what'd Hikou say t'that?" 

Kouji stopped laughing. "Well, he said that y'would, if ya could have a conversation withou' long, awkward pauses. An' now y'can! But..."

"What else did e say?" 

"Well, he said that...that Houjun's straight..." 

"Jus' my luck, huh?" I sighed. 

"Hey, 's like I said," Kouji started grinning again. "I never knew anyone, guy or girl, who could resist ya when ya liked em."

I laughed. Anyone who didn't know me wouldn't have been able to hear the sadness I the sound. "Well, Houjun ain't like anyone I've ever met."

"Y' really _are_ gone, ain'cha?" Kouji laughed too.

"Hey, Kouji, I gotta run. My shift starts in--" I checked my watch "–fifteen minutes. Catch ya later?"

"Sure." Hikou waved as I left. "Hey!" he called after me. "Good luck with Houjun!"

I shook my head, grinning. I seem to do that a lot around Kouji...

*****

When I got back to Houjun's apartment ("My apartment, too," I reminded myself,) I realized that I didn't have my key with me. 

"Damn," I muttered.

I knocked on the door. "Houjun? It's me."

Fortunately, he wasn't in one of his dead-to-the-world thinking moments. He answered the door pretty quickly.

"Hey," I said, smiling. 

"Hi," Houjun said cheerfully. "Do you feel like cooking, no da? Because I really don't."

"I c'n cook instant ramen, macaroni n' cheese from a box, pancakes from a mix and French toast." I ticked the foods off on my fingers. "Oh, yeah, an' scrambled eggs." I looked at Houjun. "Any a' those sound good?"

Houjun laughed. "Want to just eat out? My treat."

"I c'n pay," I said, not wanting to impose on him.

"No, I _want _to." He said. 

I blinked. "Okay..."

"So," he said. "Where do you want to go?"

We ended up at a small Chinese restaurant downtown. Over peapods and beef, orange chicken and pork fried rice, Houjun tried to convince me that tea is the only appropriate beverage to drink with Chinese food.

"But I don' _like_ tea..." I muttered, as Houjun flipped over the small, rounded teacup that rested next to my plate. He filled the cup with tea, and I sighed resignedly, grabbing a sugar packet from the box on the table.

I was about to upend the open packet over my teacup when Houjun stopped me. 

"Too much sugar will make the tea sickening." He warned me.

"Oh." I said, glancing down at his hand, which still rested on mine.

He noticed, too, and jerked his hand away, apologizing as his cheeks reddened. I smiled slightly.

The tea was still disgusting, but I managed to get through a cupful, which seemed to satisfy Houjun. The waiter came with the check and the fortune cookies. I took the one pointing at me and cracked it open.

__

Do not stop pursuing that which you desire, no matter how difficult the trials you encounter.

I blinked at it. "Right," I muttered, crumpling it and placing it in my pocket.

"What?" Houjun looked up from his own fortune.

"Weird fortune." I answered.

"Mine says that I should be most affectionate today', no da." 

I laughed and looked at my watch. "Well, it's 7:45 righ' now. Ya don' have much a' today' left,"

He grinned and payed the bill. "Come on, let's go home."

I nodded.

The drive home was uneventful. We pulled into the parking lot of our apartment building chatting amiably about nothing. At the door, Houjun stopped and looked at me. 

"Thanks for the date, Genrou. I had fun, no da." He paused, and then laughingly asked, "Do I get a goodnight kiss?"

I looked at him, my face serious. He met my eyes and stopped laughing. We stood that way for a few minutes, neither of us daring to breathe.

I couldn't tell you who moved first. Maybe we both moved at the same time. Slowly, both of us leaned inward until our lips brushed gently.

It was as though an electric shock had passed through me, and suddenly my mind was flooded with images.

And I remembered. 

I remembered everything. Miaka and the warriors of Suzaku, the search for the Shinzahos, the fight against the Seiryu side...and Chichiri.

__

My Chichiri. The reserved, polite monk who always had a kind word and advice ready when I needed it. The reason I had spent years traveling after our ordeals were over. My soulmate, who had promised that no matter what happened, he'd find me in every life we lived throughout time.

But I remembered something else too. It wasn't from that life. It was from back when I was a thief, living on the streets.

__

He had blue hair. It stood out. Trying to take his wallet. He noticed. Caught, need to get away, grab the knife, quick slash. Knife frees itself with a jerk. Horrible scream. 

Running, running, running. Getting away.

Getting away from the memory. 

"Chichiri," I gasped.

Houjun looked up at me, his eye full of a love that tore at my heart. "I found you, Tasuki."

----To be continued.

The angst starts here. Hang on, it'll be a wild ride...Stick with me, though, I'm gonna try to make it happier. Geez, I always write things I don't like. Angst depresses me, and here I'm writing that. I can't stand Tasuki/Nuriko, and yet I wrote "I Just Want Him to be Happy".

Anyway, Chapter Ten should be up very soon, I'm posting these two almost simultaneously, since you've all waited so long for updates. 

Oh, and I did make up Genrou's fortune, but Houjun's is one I've actually gotten. Twice. In a row. You think I'm being told something?

~Ambika-san (I'm not Mikazuki anymore...weird...)


	10. Afterwards

Just to make sure everyone knows: CHAPTER NINE HAS BEEN REPOSTED! YOU NEED TO READ THAT FIRST!

And yeah, the angst starts now. This chapter is going to be pretty depressing, but stick with me, I'm gonna make it better, hopefully...

All right. On with the story.

------_Scars_ ------

-_Genrou _-

I didn't want to believe it. I had finally found Chichiri, only to realize that in this life, it was my fault that he only had one eye.

I barely registered Houjun telling me that he was going to take a shower and read for a while before he went to bed. I was too dazed by everything I'd remembered. I think I nodded, because Houjun smiled and left the room.

It couldn't be true. I couldn't have done that to Chichiri, could I? Even as an accident...I loved him more than life itself, and I knew I couldn't live with myself, knowing how I'd hurt him.

I knew what I had to do.

I went and found my old knife. I couldn't believe it had still been in that alley after all these years, but now I was grateful that it had been. It was the only appropriate instrument for what I was about to do. 

Finding paper and a pen, I wrote a note to Chichiri. 

Carrying it, I walked back to the kitchen, studying the blade. Under the blood—_his_ blood, I thought, my heart aching—the blade was somehow still sharp and shiny. The knife was beautiful, really.

I felt detatched from everything as I walked over to the sink, as though I was outside myself, watching from somewhere up near the ceiling.

I turned the water on hard and held my arm over the sink, pressing the knife blade against my wrist...

--_Houjun_ --

I took a short shower. I could hear water running as I dried off and dressed, but I didn't think anything of it. It was probably someone washing dishes in another apartment. 

"Genrou?" I called as I left the bathroom. 

No answer.

I could tell now that the water was running in our apartment. But that couldn't be...unless maybe Genrou decided to wash dishes? Doubtful. Especially since we'd eaten out...

"Tasuki?" I said, walking into the kitchen.

Something wasn't right. Genrou was hunched over the sink, his breathing ragged and loud. The water was on full blast, and there was a faint smell of...of...

__

Blood.

"Chiri...!" He turned a little, his arms still in the sink. His face was pale, and his eyes were wide and frightened. "I'm sorry...Chiri...I did it...it was my fault...hate myself..."

I was frozen. He couldn't have...it couldn't be..."Tasuki? What are you talking about...?"

"I...love yaChiri." He gasped. "Al...ways..." He slumped forward over the sink.

"Tasuki!" I yelled, running forward. "Oh, gods..." Both of his wrists were slashed, the blood mingling with the water from the tap and running down the drain. The knife was still in his right hand. "No! Not again..."

Looking around frantically, I spotted a pair of towels. I grabbed them and pressed them to Genrou's wrists, praying that I wasn't too late. I made sure he was breathing, and then called 911, trying to keep Genrou's wrists elevated and keep pressure on them as I talked to the person who answered the phone.

As I hung up after explaining the situation, I noticed a piece of paper on the counter by the sink. I picked it up and put it into my pocket.

"Don't die on me now...not when I've just found you," There were tears on my cheeks, but I made no move to wipe them away. All of my attention was focused on Genrou. 

The bleeding wouldn't stop. I pressed the towels even tighter, but the blood still soaked through the thin material, staining my hands.

There was a knock at the door. After tying the now-soaked towels tightly around Genrou's arms, I went to answer the door. 

The paramedics stepped into our apartment. "Where is he?" the taller one asked.

"He's here," I led them to the kitchen. 

They carried Genrou out of the apartment. I followed them into the elevator and out to the ambulance. They untied the towels around Genrou's wrists and bandaged him properly. I was allowed to ride in the back of the ambulance with him.

When we arrived at the hospital, Genrou was taken away immediately. They told me that I should go home, that he'd likely be unable to have any visitors for hours, if not a day or more. I couldn't leave. I needed to be there when Genrou woke up. 

So I sat in the waiting room, picking up magazines that I had no interest in and staring at articles that couldn't distract me from my worry. It was when I realized that I had read the same sentence four times, and I still had no idea what it said, that I gave up. I threw the magazine aside and sighed. I couldn't concentrate on anything, but I couldn't sit and do nothing. 

I needed a piece of gum. Sometimes chewing gum helped me calm down. I sifted through my pockets, and I did find some gum, but I also found something I'd forgotten—the piece of paper I'd taken from the counter when I found Tasuki. I unfolded it. The handwriting was Genrou's.

__

Dear Chichiri, 

__

I've never been good with words, but I'm gonna try to explain things for you. 

Four years ago, I was a thief. A pickpocket. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I did, once. I forgot it until today. I think I might have made myself forget. But when we kissed and we got our memories back, I remembered that too.

Four years ago, I tried to take someone's wallet, and he caught me. Literally. He wouldn't let me go. I had this knife. I didn't use it, ever. But that day, I pulled it out, hoping I could scare the guy into letting me go. When that didn't work, I decided (stupidly) to swing it behind me. I thought the guy would see it and duck out of the way.

But he didn't.

I took his eye out. There is nothing I regret more in my life. No matter who the guy was, I'd feel terrible about it.

But it was you. I think you'd figured that out by now...

And now that I remember, I hate myself. I can't live with myself, knowing what I've done, because I love you. More than anything.

So I have to do this. I understand that you'll hate me. But I hope that you can forgive me someday, because I'll miss you, Chiri. I hope we can be friends in our next life, if we find each other.

Goodbye , love.

Tasuki

The letter slipped from my fingers and fluttered to the floor. I was beyond shock. I could barely even think. Slowly, I began to understand. Before he'd passed out, Tasuki had said "_I'm sorry, Chiri. I did it. It's my fault._ " He had meant that he'd given me my scar.

I couldn't believe it. _Tasuki_ was the one that had given me my scar. It had been an accident. At least I knew that he wouldn't deliberately hurt someone. Would he? No, Genrou wouldn't lie like that. 

I had a sudden flash of memory. 

__

"Aw, don' kill it!" He clapped his mug against the wall, confining the arachnid.

"D'you have, like, an index card r somethin'?" 

I passed him a deck of cards. He took two off the top and slid them under the cup. In this way, he carried the spider over to the window, setting it free outside.

"I don' like spiders much, but I don' want anythin' ta die."

I couldn't help smiling as I recalled the earnest look on Tasuki's face as he'd said that. Yes. That was Genrou. He'd never hurt someone on purpose. 

Brushing my bangs aside, I ran two fingers over the thick ridge of scar tissue that sealed my eye shut.

I realized that there was something I still needed to do.

I walked to the receptionist's desk. "Is there a phone I can use nearby, no da?" 

--_Hikou_ --

I was reading when the phone rang. I picked up, wondering who would be calling at this hour.

"Hello?"

"Hikou?"

"Houjun? What's wrong?"

"Can you get Kouji on an extension?" he sounded strained. "What I have to tell you concerns both of you."

"Okay..." I held the phone away from my head, covering the mouthpiece. "Kouji? Can you pick up the extension? Houjun wants to talk to both of us."

Kouji picked up. "Houjun? What's up?" Worry was evident in his voice.

Houjun took a deep breath, "I'm at the hospital, no da. It's Genrou...he tried to commit suicide."

"WHAT?!" Kouji and I yelled in unison. Genrou wouldn't do that...

"Do you know why?" I asked.

Houjun was silent. Finally, he said "Yes..." so softly I almost missed it. I was about to ask if he wanted us to come when Kouji spoke up.

"Hikou n me'll be right there. Just hang on, okay, Houjun?" 

"He can't have visitors right now," Houjun told him.

"We're coming for _you_, ya idiot."

"Thanks, Kouji." I could hear the sad smile in Houjun's words.

"What're friends fer?" Kouji asked. "We'll see ya in a coupla minutes."

"All right." Houjun said. "Bye."

We hung up and went straight out to the car. 

"I don't understand," I murmured. "Genrou seems like the last person who'd ever try something like this..."

Kouji shook his head. "I never woulda thought he'd do this. I can't imagine why he would."

After that, we drove in silence. 

Houjun was waiting for us in the entryway of the hospital. His eye was red and his cheeks were tearstained. When he saw us, he smiled in a way that didn't reach his eyes. 

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine." He said. "Genrou's the one who slit his wrists..."

"I don' get it. Why'd he _do_ that?" Kouji voiced what we were both wondering.

Fresh tears escaped from Houjun's good eye. "It was because he remembered something he had forced himself to forget..."

"What's that?"

"He remembered that...that he was the one who gave me my scar..." Houjun's voice was barely a whisper.

"He WHAT?!" Kouji exclaimed.

Houjun nodded.

"Oh, gods..." I murmured.

Kouji looked shocked. "Well...what're ya gonna do?"

"I forgive him." Houjun said firmly. "But from what he said in his...the note he left...the real problem will be making him forgive himself..."

Kouji looked amazed. "Y'can forgive him?"

"Yes, no da. I know it was an accident. Genrou isn't the type of person who would hurt someone intentionally." Houjun blushed a little. "Besides, I love him...When I saw him slumped over the sink like that, all I could think was What would I do if I lost him?'" Houjun shuddered. "I couldn't lose someone else like that."

Kouji looked like he was about to ask what Houjun meant, but I shot him a look that said "Drop it."

We stayed with Houjun until we were sure that he would be all right. Even then, we only left because he insisted that we go home and get some sleep. We tried to convince him to go home as well, but he refused. He did promise to call us when Genrou could have visitors, though. 

"D'ya think he'll be okay?" Kouji asked.

"The doctors think he'll be fine. He should wake up soon." I caught Kouji's expression and added, "And Houjun will be much better once Genrou's awake."

Kouji smiled.

-_Genrou_ -

__

Why ain't I dead? I wondered. _Or am I dead, an' I've gone ta Hell?_

I knew it couldn't be Heaven, because my I had a splitting headache, my wrists were on fire, my mouth and throat were completely dry and I felt kind of queasy. On the other hand, if this was Hell, it wasn't as bad as I'd expected it to be. It was remarkably like a hospital...

That's when the doctor came in. "Ah, you're awake. Good. We would have worried if you'd been unconscious much longer."

Okay, so I wasn't dead. Probably.

"How do you feel?" She asked. "Is there anything you need?"

I ignored her first question. "Y'think I could have some water?" I asked, slightly hoarse.

"Certainly." 

As I sipped the tepid water they'd brought me, I wondered again why I wasn't dead. Then I remembered. Chichiri had found me. Right before I passed out, he'd come into the kitchen and seen me, half dead, bleeding into the sink.

Oh, gods...poor Chiri. I'd hoped he'd find me after I was dead, and all (or at least most) of the blood had washed away. Not that that would be that much better, I guess. But then he would have found the note, and he would have understood why I'd done it. Maybe his anger would have kept him from being too sad...

__

Come to think of it, he must have found the note anyway, I reasoned. I wondered if he hated me now, and wished he'd left me to die...

I wished I was dead.

"Mr. Kou!" I could tell by the tone of the doctor's voice that she'd tried to get my attention several times already. I smiled wanly at her.

"Sorry. I was jus' thinkin'..."

"Well, I wanted to tell you that if you feel up to it, there's a gentleman who's been sitting in the waiting room since he brought you in. I think it would make him very happy if you'd see him. He saved your life, you know."

My eyes widened. It had to be Houjun. He had to be the one who'd brought me in...Why would he still be here? Maybe he hadn't found the note? 

I wanted to see him, I needed to see him, but the idea scared me. I took a deep breath, turning to the doctor. I nodded.

"I'd like ta see him."

--_Houjun_ --

As I walked through the hallway that the nurse had directed me down, I realized that I was nervous. Somehow, in spite of the note, I felt as though Genrou's suicide attempt was my fault. As though the memories I'd brought back to him, his memories of us, had been too much for him to bear.

I pushed the thought away and looked into Genrou's room. He was there, of course, lying on the bed, his face turned away from the door.

"Genrou?" I said softly, just loud enough for him to hear me.

He turned to face me, and I could see the anxiety on his face. "Houjun..." he murmured. "Th' doctor said ya'd been here since ya brought me in. How long ya been waitin' fer me?"

"Since last night. I slept in one of the chairs in the waiting room, no da..." I smiled sheepishly.

Genrou looked amazed. "_Why_?" 

"I had to know if you were all right, of course..." I said, surprised. "I wanted to be here when you woke up."

"Didn'...didn' ya find th' note?" He sounded apprehensive. 

"I found it, no da." 

Genrou just stared at me. I knew that he assumed I'd hate him once I found out what he'd done. What I didn't know was how to explain that he was the one person on Earth that I could forgive, no matter what he'd done. That I would die, cheerfully, if I thought it would make him happy. I didn't know the words that would make him believe that I still loved him.

But I had to try to tell him. I couldn't let him go. That was what last night had taught me.

"Tasuki," I began, then paused, unsure of how to continue. "Last night I almost lost you. If I'd been in the shower just a few more minutes, you would have died. I can forgive what you did to me four years ago. I can do it for two reasons. First, because I know you. You would never hurt anyone purposely. I can only imagine what it must have been like to realize what you'd done to someone as an accident that day. It's no wonder you blocked it out." 

By this time, I had tears in my eye. As I continued, they began to fall. "Second, I can forgive you because I love you. But because I love you, it's a little harder to forgive you for trying to leave me." I squeezed my eye shut. "Just promise me you'll never do that again, Tasuki. I couldn't handle that."

I opened my eye as I felt Tasuki brush away the tears on my cheek. With tears in his eyes, he asked, "How c'n ya be so amazin'?"

I took his hand between both of my own, and then leaned down and kissed him gently. When I pulled away, I kept holding his hand.

"I believe in second chances, Genrou." I sighed. "I have to. I'm on mine."

"What?" Genrou asked. "What do you mean, you're on your second chance...?"

I looked down at his hand. Flipping it palm-up, I traced the lines on it gently with my thumb.

"I think it's time I told you about Kouran."

-----To be continued.

Of course. Hahaha. I've been planning that moment for a while now. Anyway, next chapter will be angsty, too, it just won't be the same kind of angst. (Like there's any other kind of angst that's quite like Tasuki attempting suicide...) And yeah, I had the flashback to the spider scene planned when I first wrote the spider scene. That's why it had to be Tasuki that didn't want the spider killed.

Geez, angst and sap in the same chapter...what the hell am I doing? I guess I just can't stand to leave them unhappy for too long...

Anyway, please review! I don't even care if you flame! Of course, I'll ignore flamers, because I'm gonna finish this story whether people like it or not.

~Ambika-san


	11. In the Past

Hello, and welcome back to Scars! I'm your authoress, Ambika-san--::ducks rotten vegetables:: I'm sorry! I actually came here to apologize! I really meant to work on this, but my muses refused to cooperate....

Right, so there's an angst warning and a sap warning in effect for this chapter.

Oh, and the text in between these: is Houjun's memory (which he's describing to Genrou.)

Dedication: Yep. That's right. I'm dedicating this chapter. To my betas: Tasoka, Tsukiyomi2 and Haleth Enyalier, who checked this over for me, and Xellas, because (though I didn't ask for her help with this one) I have pestered her with so many other beta-ing requests.

Thanks again, you guys!

------_Scars _------

-_Genrou_-

"Kouran?" I asked, surprised. "She was yer fiancee last time around, right? Is she here, too?"

"She was." The slight emphasis on the last word and the sadness in Houjun's eye as he stared at his hands made my heart ache. No matter what the life or world, it seems that Chichiri is fated to suffer.

But there was still something I didn't understand.

"Y'mean...again? But then...Hikou's not...?"

"No, he had nothing to do with it this time." Houjun looked up. "It was all different."

--_Houjun_--

I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to begin my story.

"We were in high school at the time. Hikou and I were seniors, and Kouran was a year behind us. I'd gotten to know her through the drama club, and I introduced her to Hikou. We became friends very quickly. And..." I paused, feeling a little awkward about saying what came next.

"Y' fell in love, right? You c'n say it."

I smiled gratefully at Genrou. "Yes. We fell in love. And for a few months, things were wonderful. But then...."

"Kouran, is everything all right?"

"Hm?" she turned back to me. "Oh, it's nothing."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "You're acting kind of strange. You keep looking around, like you expect to see someone there..."

Kouran frowned at the sidewalk. "I'm probably being stupid, but lately I just feel like I'm being watched." She turned a bright, false smile on me. "Silly, huh?"

"Have you seen anyone?"

"No..."

"Hmm..." I shrugged. "It might just be your imagination, but be careful, all right?"

"Of course."

Over the next few weeks, I saw Kouran looking over her shoulder once or twice when she thought I wasn't watching. She didn't say anything to me about it, though, so I didn't worry very much. However, I tried to make sure that either Hikou or I always walked her home.

I never saw anyone watching her. And Hikou never mentioned anything, so I assumed that he never did, either.

I began to think that she might just be imagining it. Our exams were coming up, and many students were showing signs of stress.

And so I became careless.

It was a Wednesday. It had been rainy all morning, but by lunchtime the clouds were breaking up, and it was warm and sunny by the time school was over.

I had a rehearsal for the upcoming school play. Kouran didn't have a part in it, so she was helping backstage. However, the stagehands weren't needed for this rehearsal.

Hikou was out sick, so he couldn't walk with Kouran.

"Do you want to call home and ask for a ride?" I asked, still a little wary of letting her walk home alone.

"I can't," she replied. "My parents are away on a business trip. They won't be back until Monday."

"Well, you can come to the rehearsal with me, then."

"I'll be fine." she laughed. "It's not like I've never walked home alone before."

"Well, if you're sure..."

"You worry too much." She turned to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Sure enough, Kouran was in school the next day. She seemed quieter than usual, and she avoided my eyes when she did speak. I asked her if anything was wrong, but she just shook her head and said that she was fine.

When we met to walk home, Kouran handed me a necklace.

It was simple, just a silver crescent on a length of black cord, but I knew it to be one of Kouran's favorites.

"What...?" I looked at the necklace, and then at Kouran. "Kouran, why are you giving this to me?"

"Oh..." She stared at the ground. "I just...I wanted to give you something. You know, because I love you." She looked up at me, smiling.

I smiled back. "Well, thank you, then." I slipped the necklace over my head.

She nodded. "You're welcome."

And we started off.

When we arrived at Kouran's house, she turned to me and kissed me.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I asked, perplexed.

"For everything. I love you."

"I love you too." I frowned, concerned. "Are you all right? You're acting funny...."

"I'm fine." She laughed softly. "I just started thinking that I don't tell you that often enough. You're very good to me."

I looked at her skeptically for a moment, trying to decide whether this was the truth or not. It did sound true to Kouran's character, but I couldn't quite shake the feeling that there was something wrong.

"You're sure everything is all right?"

She smiled broadly. "I'm fine! Don't worry so much, it'll give you wrinkles!"

I smiled. "All right. I'll see you tomorrow, then."

But Kouran wasn't in school the next day.

I didn't know it until second period, when Hikou asked me if she'd been sick.

I blinked. "No..."

"Maybe she came down with something last night." Hikou shrugged.

remembering how oddly she'd been behaving, I was more concerned. "Let's go check on her after school."

"I wish I could, but I have to go to work."

I sighed exaggeratedly. "I suppose I'll just have to go on my own, then."

Hikou laughed, and the bell rang for the end of second period.

I went to my locker for the first time that day. As I opened it, a slip of paper fluttered to the floor.

I picked it up, and saw that it was a note. I read it.

And then I left school as quickly as I could without arousing suspicion and headed for Kouran's house.

"The note told me that on the day she'd walked home alone, she'd been attacked and raped. It also said that she had decided shortly thereafter to take her own life."

I stopped and took a few deep breaths. Genrou squeezed my hand.

I smiled wanly at him and continued. "When I got to Kouran's house, her parents were there. They'd come home early from their business trip and..." I swallowed hard. "they'd found Kouran's body.

"She'd slit her wrists."

Genrou's eyes widened. "Oh, gods, 'Chiri, I'm so sorry..."

I shook my head. "You didn't know." I looked up at him. "And that's in the past now. I've dealt with it in my own way, and a couple of other peoples' ways, too. It's just that thinking of it still makes me sad...And I can't help thinking that maybe there was something I could have done differently..."

-_Genrou_-

" 'S not yer fault!"

"I know that, really. It's just that the signs were all there..."

"No. Ya didn' do anythin' wrong. The bastard that raped her's the one that should be sorry. That's horrible." I couldn't find the right words to ask Houjun if he was really okay, or to tell him that he didn't deserve all of the shit he'd gone through.

I hated to think how much I'd contributed to that shit.

"Damn, I feel like an asshole..."

He looked up at me.

"I mean, I gave you your scar, fer Suzaku's sake! An' then I went an' tried ta kill myself th' same way yer old girlfriend did..."

"Genrou..." he murmured.

"No, really! I'm a jerk. A screw-up. Ya shouldn'ta had ta go through anythin' else." I stared down at the bed, where our hands were linked. I untangled my fingers from his. "Y'deserve better'n me--"

"Tasuki!" he exclaimed. I looked up. He was angry. "I told you I forgave you, and I meant it. I told you I love you, and I meant that, too! And..." He takes my hand again. "....you promised me you wouldn't try to leave me again..."

"Oh, gods..." I closed my eyes. "I messed up again...."

"Genrou..." I opened my eyes. Houjun didn't look angry any more. "Don't you get it yet? The only way you can mess up is by leaving me alone."

I stared at him, speechless.

The door opened, and my doctor walked in.

"Oh, I'm sorry, have I interrupted something?"

"No," I found my voice again. "No, 's fine."

"Great, because I have some good news for you, Mr. Kou. You're going to be absolutely fine. Of course, we're gonna keep you here a little longer, so you can regain your strength. And there'll be some scarring on your wrists, that's unavoidable, but you should be perfectly okay." She smiled, but Houjun was looking at me in a way that clearly asked "_Are you?_"

I suppose it would seem like I was replying to the doctor, but it was Houjun I looked at, and he was the one that the words were truly intended for.

"A'course I'll be all right. Everyone's got scars they've gotta live with."

----_owari_-----

::shock::

I can't believe I've finally finished it. It's over. No more Scars...Y'know, this'd be sad if I wasn't so relieved. Not that I'm happy it's over...Well, I am, but only because it's been on my mind so long...I'm gonna miss this story, but it needed to end there. There wasn't much else I could do, now that everything's been revealed and Tasuki and Chichiri are still together, and...well...It's just done, okay?

Though I am probably gonna go back through and clean things up a bit. You know, edit parts that I'm not quite satisfied with and all. No plot changes, just little random details that bug me. ::shrug::

Anyway, I'll shut up now. Please review, even if you hate me for taking more than a year to finish this thing...

Ambika-san


End file.
